Edmonton – When one thinks of Edmonton, only three things can possibly come to mind – cold, the Oilers and the Mall. Well, as a person who spent seventeen frickin years in the Great White North, I have had plenty of trips to the mall. However, most of my friends in Toronto have never been, as there is no real point to visit Edmonton for anything. I was recently in my former home town and decided to show the peeps what the mall is all about.
First off, some information on the mall. It is the largets mall in North America and fourth largest on Earth. It consists of 570,000 square meters, has over 800 stores and also a waterpark, rink, movie theatre, casino, hotel, amusement park, golf course and pretty much everything you can think of. It even has another mall inside it. Jokes. Seriously, West Edmonton Mall is basically an indoor city.
Okay, so here are some random stuff.
This is the waterpark. It’s AWESOME. I have been there more then a few times, and its great. The rides are top notch, you can bungie jump, theres a wave pool and the rides are just good. Look at the red and purple rides, thats five stories you drop. Crazy. If you are light, you can actually fly off the purple slide on the first bump. Don’t go down this slide head first, or you will end up like Superman. Bad joke, I know. But fair warning indeed. It’s great to go in the winter, since its bright outside and warm inside.
Look – it’s Europe! and on the first floor, it’s a mini golf course! This is also where some of the more expensive shops are in WEM. How European. You should be allowed to smoke in this area of the mall.
How the hell did they get a submarine inside a mall? I don’t know. However, this is a popular ride at WEM, and also shows off Canada’s awesome naval powers. Russian warships patrolling the arctic waters, you better watch out, because this yellow submarine packs quite a punch.
On the left is where the sea lions are. They used to be dolphins, but apparently, that area is too small for the dolphins and they got depressed and died. How emo. To the middle in the back is a pirate ship. The water area is quite popular for drunken people to dive into at nite after they leave one of the West Mall nightclubs. Then they drown.
Part 2 coming up.
Heres a song for your troubles