Asia Travel Blog, Part 1

Posted on January 3, 2010 by Ricky in Everything | Comments Off on Asia Travel Blog, Part 1

Beijing Trip

Hong Kong – Happy New Years to you! I figure someone woulda posted it by now. Anyways, as some of you may know, I went to Beijing on December 28 for a wedding and then went to Hong Kong on Jan 2 for the rest of my vacation (til the 17th), so, since I have no music to write about, here is some random notes from my trip to Beijing.

The Flight Over
It just so happens I left about two days after that dude tried to blow up a plane going to Detroit. Why bother even blowing up a plane in Detroit? No one even cares about that city, you can’t possibly do more damage to it. Idiot. Anyways, as a result, the security was boosted even higher.

Luck
I’m so lucky. Originally my flight was a 10 AM flight to Chicago. My parents, before they moved here to Canada, both worked in China Airlines for awhile, as a result, they know airline people. One of their friends works on United. He told them to tell me to go to the 8am flight due to possible delays, and he was working that day so all I had to do was find him.

I leave my house around 4 am to get to the airport, halfway to the airport, I realize I forgot my suit. FML. When I get there, the lineup is insane. Everyone realized they need to go early apparently. Luckily for me, I didn’t need lineup, I just walked up to my parents friend, and he hooked me up with the flight. Haha, I was probably hated by the people in line. Don’t care. I later find out that my original flight was canceled.

The security check blows. It took forever, I’m sure you read news reports about it. This is one of those times when I wish they did racial profiling. I know that sounds so wrong, but really, we all know a majority of the attacks (successful or not) have been done by certain types of people. Put them through a harder test. Obviously, in this scenario, I would be more then willing to have someone put me through tough security measures should I board a bus, for fear I decapitate someone. Just a thought. Took about 3 hours for the security. Everyone was super miserable. I think the terrorist have won.

– read the Skymall shopping catalog if you are ever on United. It’s hilarious

Notes about Beijing
– It is a lot cleaner here then it used to be, still kinda ghetto in some areas, but overall, a hella lot cleaner

– clubbing here is insane. they have no fire regulations I think, so they just let everyone in. I went on NYE so it was probably why it was so packed. They played Dizzee Rascal – Holiday!!! The Dj’s were black. Clubbing here is kinda cool because theres so many people from so many countries at the same time, and lemme tell you, repressed Asians know how to party.

– the food here is so cheap for foreigners. you could eat like gods and still it will come down to less then 20 bucks CAD a person. Peking duck twice in three days is a bit excessive though.

– I’ll never get used to pissing into a hole in the ground.

– It’s way too cold in Beijing.

– rush hour is always an interesting experience when a city has 18 million people.

– I could get used to 1 hour full body massages for around 22$ Canadian. So good.

– I love how all the domestic flights are in another airport..hides all the other mainlanders from more ghetto places from the foreigners.

That’s about it for now. I’m pretty lucky in that I escaped the snow storm and am now in sunny Hong Kong, where it is suppose to be 20 degrees today.

Best Conspiracy Theories of 2009

Posted on December 26, 2009 by Paul in Everything, Year End Reviews | Leave a comment

want-to-believe

Toronto – I’ve long been a fan of conspiracy theories, both the plausible ones and the totally whacked out ones, in fact the more whacked out ones are the best.  With the spread of the internet as a means of disseminating information, these theories have grown in popularity.  With that in mind, I’d like to go over some of the ones that made the most headlines (or didn’t make the headlines, ‘cause y’know … “they” control what we see … and by “they,” I mean the evil lizard visitors from that TV show V)  So pop in the new Muse album or the new Megadeth, shut your blinds, put your tinfoil hat on and enjoy.

1.  Those crazy-ass lights over Norway

So somebody took a picture of these crazy spiral lights that appeared over Norway.  They’re kind of pretty actually, but nobody has a clue what the hell they are.  Some theories:  obviously aliens are the easiest answer, followed by the Russians (seriously, somebody blamed it on Russians testing … something, weapons or whatever.  Look it up). Next there is the possibility that it was the time tunnel or perhaps some other kind of weird science experiment , but the best theory is this – maybe the best thing I’ve read in a long time, probably because it incorporates theories from awesome TV shows like Fringe and V and Flashforward.

 2.  The H1N1 vaccine is gonna kill you!

Ok, so here’s the basic premise of this theory: the evil overlords in charge of all stuff everywhere think there are too many of us.  Therefore they want to wipe us out but in a way that’s not so noticeable as to be seen as a crazy massacre.  ‘Cause we’d kind of notice that happening.  Hence the vaccines.  And if it doesn’t kill you, it’s at the very least gonna make you walk backwards or something.

 3.  Obama is actually evil … and he’s gonna kill you!

The basic premise here is that Barack Obama’s just a puppet for our evil overlords (ie. he’s actually Gaius Baltar) and that everything he does is done for the explicit purpose of destroying America.  Oh, and he wasn’t born in the U.S.  And his name’s not actually Obama.  My take on it:  Obama’s probably not actually evil … but he’s still a politician and therefore probably shouldn’t totally be trusted.  Actually, nobody should be trusted.  Not even me.  Not even your mom.  Not even you!

 4.  Climate Change is Hooey

OK, so this one’s not really new at all, but has gained a lot of prominence with the whole Copenhagen thing going on plus Climategate.  Basically, climate change deniers will tell you that global warming stopped years ago and that the world’s actually cooling a bit (I imagine that’s why the people in the know changed the name to climate change – it encapsulates both warming and cooling) This is of special interest to Canadians since our Prime Minister has come out of Copenhagen as the rebel bad boy who’s not really doing all that he can to deal with climate change (or anything at all really).  Is Harper a closeted climate change denier?  Or is he just in the back pocket of oil companies?  And what does the sinister Daniel Plainview have to do with all of this?  Stay tuned for the answer, faithful readers … and for goodness sake, keep an eye on your milkshakes.

5.  Balloon Boy’s dad is actually right

We all heard the story of balloon boy Falcon Heene.  We all know it was a hoax perpetrated by his crazy, fame hungry, conspiracy happy dad, Richard.  What you may not have heard if you weren’t paying that much attention (and kudos to you if you weren’t, you obviously have some semblance of a life, unlike me) is that Richard Heene believes in the idea that our evil overlords are actually part of a secret cabal of evil lizard people secretly posing as posh humans in order to keep us under control.  Again, this is not a new theory, but Heene brought it up again.  This theory was first revealed by former British footballer David Icke, who postulated that important people such as Queen Elizabeth, George Bush, Hillary Clinton – and for some strange reason, Boxcar Willie –  are all secret reptilians who are out to get us.  This is why I can never fully get behind this theory.  Boxcar Willie only brings the good times, he loves humanity.  He would never want to enslave us.  Seriously, watch this video and try and tell me that Willie wishes us any harm.  You can’t.  Because he’s Boxcar Willie.  And he’s awesome.

 6.  Tiger Woods Y’all

Tiger and about 15 other women were able to keep his wife (and perhaps each other) in the dark about his various affairs.  If that’s not the textbook definition of conspiracy, I don’t know what is.  Tigergate,  people. Tigergate.

And of course, the true conspiracy buffs will tell you that Tigergate is just a distraction from the real story …

 7.  Soilent Green is real!  It’s real!!!

I’ve decided to start this theory all by myself.  Some scientists recently genetically engineered some freaky kind of pseudo-pork that’s sort of cloned from pig cells.  So we get something that approximates meat that can be made without killing animals.  It could be used to help feed the world and stuff and can also help reduce animal flatulence emissions, which are apparently bad for the environment.  But here’s the thing – this “meat” sounds really gross.  Like worse that Taco Bell gross (mmm … Taco Bell)  Who’s to say what they’ll be putting in there.  Maybe even people?

 8.  Adolf Hitler was secretly a lady!

At least that’s how I interpreted this article …

 9.  My apartment is totally haunted

Ok , this one is only relevant to me, but still, I’m pretty sure it’s true.  Or maybe I just got freaked out after watching Paranormal Activity.  Either way, I’m just about ready to get one of those EMF readers to scan the apartment with.

 10.  Archie Comics Is Owned By Mormons!

This is a total lie.  Or maybe it’s not.  Ok, yes … yes it is a lie.  But think about it … one of the biggest entertainment news items of the past year was that Archie married Veronica.  Then in a later story, he married Betty.  Archie is a bigamist!  And you know he’d be going after Midge too if Big Moose weren’t around to kick his ass.  There you have it, Archie Comics may or may not endorse bigamy.  You heard it here first.

 Keep watching the skies …

2009: Jupiter and Beyond! (aka Paul’s faves)

Posted on December 19, 2009 by Paul in Everything, Year End Reviews | Leave a comment

norway-spiral

Toronto – So 2009 was kind of a weird year for me.  While a lot of great music came out this year, it was also the year I became more apathetic about music for some reason.  It’s because of this that I actually had a bit of a hard time remembering what I heard and actually liked this year.  That said, here’s the stuff I liked the most this year, organized in the most arbitrary and illogical manner possible.

 SONGS:

Grizzly Bear featuring Michael McDonald – “While You Wait For The Others”

 Veckatimest as a whole was a really great album that I dug a whole lot, but it was this version, released as a single, that really blew me away.  Grizzly Bear’s tune is made even more sublime with the addition of the king of smooth and yacht rock legend McDonald on vocals.  Maybe you think the original version with Ed Droste singing lead is the better song.  That’s what a fool believes, my friends … that’s what a fool believes.

 The Dirty Projectors – “Stillness Is The Move”

 One of the catchiest songs I heard all year, the folks at Breakfast At Sulimay’s describe it best.  Probably totally inaccurate, but it’s the best review I’ve seen.  Also, it’s fun to say singer Angel Deradoorian’s name out loud.

Franz Nicolay – “Jeff Penalty”

The Hold Steady keyboardist (and king of moustaches) tells us the story of Jello Biafra’s replacement in The Dead Kennedys, who depite just being “that one guy from Philly” or “Jeff Whatsisname”  manages to get the punks singing along anyways.  It’s a song about the power of songs and the underdog getting his moment to shine. 

 ALBUMS:

Jason Lytle – Yours Truly, The Commuter

Despite having really dodgy and questionable cover artwork, this is a really solid album. I’ve been a big fan of Lytle’s ever since the release of Grandaddy’s The Sophtware Slump … which I still can’t believe came out in 2000.  Man, I’m getting old.  Anyways, Lytle doesn’t break any real new ground here, sticking to his familiar bag of tricks (Neil Young-ian vocals, ELO-ish synths, lyrics about enjoying the weekend) but it works.  It’s more or less a Grandaddy album released under his own name, but I’m OK with that.

Converge – Axe To Fall

 Back in my younger days, I used to listen to lot of metal and hardcore.  I don’t listen to nearly as much as I used to, but I occasionally like the heavy stuff still, and hardcore legends Converge certainly bring the heavy on this, their seventh full length album.  A blend of blistering riffs (probably the catchiest Kurt Ballou has ever written), slower, sludgier tunes, the slow burning Tom Waits homage “Cruel Bloom,” and more guest musicians than you can shake a stick at (including members of Cave In, Neurosis and Genghis Tron), this is Converge’s most accessible album (relatively speaking … ’cause, y’know, it’s still full of screaming and really heavy guitars) and definitely one of their best.  Also, unlike Jason Lytle, Converge always has excellent album covers.

 Pink Mountaintops – Outside Love

The softer yin to Black Mountain’s heavy yang, Stephen McBean’s Pink Mountaintops project kick out the hazy psych/shoegaze/folk/pop jams.  On “Axis: Thrones of Love,” they swipe the Bee Gees line, “how deep is your love” and recontextualize it, making it seem a bit more like a challenge than a question. 

 Steve Earle – Townes

One of the best songwriters around pays tribute to his late friend and mentor Townes Van Zant and ends up making one of his best records.

 Joel Plaskett – Three

Another great songwriter, Plaskett was shortlisted for the Polaris prize this year but lost out to the more au courant (yet also really good) Fucked Up.  I think part of why he got passed over is because Plaskett has been consistently good over his last several albums.  But his new triple (!) album is excellent, full of his usual clever, rootsy songs.  He even incorporates some Celtic influence, which actually works well here.  I guess growing up on the east coast, all those flutes and stuff are part of your DNA or something.

Art Brut – Art Brut vs. Satan

Eddie Argos is a brilliant songwriter.  There, I’ve said it.  Like a British version of Craig Finn, Argos talks his way through his songs, filling in all sorts of details that I can really relate to – DC Comics And Chocolate Milkshake could have been written about me.  Alcoholics Unanimous not so much about me (at least I hope not), but I think many of us have been in the state Argos describes there too (“I’ve been up all night/I’ve been making mistakes/I’m hiding it well/But I don’t feel great”)

The Thermals – Now We Can See

Hutch Harris and his bandmates have brought another collection of brilliant, punky power pop.  While not quite as good as The Body, The Blood, The Machine, Now We Can See is full of instantly catchy tunes (try not to sing along with the “oh way oh ohs” in the title track)  Plus they always look like they’re having a lot of fun in their videos.

Wilco – Wilco(The Album)

Jeff Tweedy’s songs.  Nels Cline’s guitar.  The other guys’ general greatness.  ‘Nuff said.  Wilco are one of the greatest bands around.  Wilco will love you, baby.  They will love you long time.

Concert Review: Lullebye Arkestra, LadyHawk, Constantines, The Garrison, Dec 17

Posted on December 18, 2009 by Ricky in Concerts | 1 Comment

constantines

Toronto – I hate the winter. I can’t even imagine why anyone would be walking along here a few hundred years and think ‘hmm, this stinging sensation I like on my face, I like it! Lets live here permanantly!‘. It’s so cold. Anyways, once winter comes, the concert season purely becomes a season about proximity. Since I live in the west, the shows I’d most likely randomly pop into become Lee’s Palace, the Mod Club and now, the Garrison. These are all within walking distance for me. Even the Horseshoe and El Mo become slight hesitations. So on Thursday night, courtesy of the blog Singing Lamb, I was notified of the fact that the Constantines and Ladyhawk were playing a “secret show” at the Garrison. Please don’t make any Lamb/Lam jokes. It’s played out.

Now I won’t lie to you, I haven’t heard much of the Constantines since that album with the song ‘Young Lions’ on it, and really, I only know of Ladyhawk through Wade. However, the word ‘secret’ makes me feel a bit special, as if I’m part of some elite organization of individuals or something. Either that or I’m an alcoholic looking for any excuse to get out of the house and have a drink. I’m going with the first one for now. Seeing how the Constantines sold out two shows at Lees Palace last weekend, I thought this show was going to be packed and so I went early. I also managed to convince some other members of my posse to go…

nwo

ooooooooooo yeaaaaah. The opening band was Lullabye Arkestra, a Toronto band featuring Do May Say Think’s Justin Small on the drums with Katia Taylor on the bass. These guys were straight up pure sleaze sex and rock n roll. Justin really liked to stand up and play drums, and was really appreciative of the Constantines being there, and also made fun of their age. Katia Taylor plays a pretty mean bass and delivered some wicked banshee like cries into the microphone. They were pretty decent and definitely set the tone for the night. After a cool 40 minute set, they left to a decent ovation.

Next up was Ladyhawk. I think by this time, both Wade and Patricia were tired of my Ladyhawk / Ladyhawke jokes. “I saw Ladyhawk already! only it was the New Zealand one! hahahahahahahahahahaha!”. It’s not even funny. Wade was a big fan of their older stuff, but I guess Ladyhawk decided to play a lot of new music. There was a few older tunes that got the crowd going. I guess they are a pretty normal guitar rock band group. They didn’t really do all that much for me, but I spent most of their set thinking about how a “Ladyhawk vs Ladyhawke” article would work, and then ultimately decided it wouldn’t. I think they played around 45 minutes.

Constantines came on a bit after midnight. I’m always reminded of the movie when I think of this band. I can’t believe it’s been ten years since they’ve been around. If anything it’s just an indication that I am old. Thinking about it, my favorite music period of “britpop” was HALF MY LIFE ago. It was a bittersweet moment as I realize that aging is indeed inevitable, unless you are benjamin button. The most shocking thing about this show was that the Garrison was only half full! This was a bit of a shocker (not the finger kind). Maybe Lauren and co. had kept it too secret. Less crowds mean more room which is good. I was pretty pleased with this outcome until about halfway through the set when Giant Gonzalez decided to stand in front of me:

giant-gonzales

Now as a 6’1 man, I have never really known what it was like to not get a good clean sight line to the stage, but once the white kareem abdul jabbar stood in front of me, blocking my entire view, I understood. It’s no fun. I was put in my place. Never again will I look at a short person at a concert and not get their beef. I am one of you now. This guy was so tall and blocked my view so completely, that the guy standing beside him at turned around and laughed. Sigh. So I decided to stand up and move, and then and only then, could I enjoy the rest of the show.

The show itself was pretty good. The Constantines have always felt like a working class type of band. Sometimes it’s good to go to these shows and keep it real. Going to the neighborhood bar, drinking cheap ass beer (PBR), mingling with the folks, comparing debts with the other people ‘trying to make it in the city’, throwing my jacket on a pool table and not worry about it being stolen, seeing a good honest guitar rock n roll band…it’s all part of the Constantine experience. What am I saying? I don’t know. I don’t even talk to anyone during a show.

The roughly one hour set ended with a wicked AC/DC cover, you know, the one where theres some kind of screaming with some guitar riff. As expected, some other people joined them on stage for the cover and it was a good way to end off a good night.

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