Movies

Movie Review: Bourne Ultimatum

Posted on by Ricky in Concerts, Everything, Movies | 1 Comment

Toronto – Any debate of Bonds vs Bourne ends with this movie. Oh my god was it fantastic. Some naysayers will say that this movie was just one big chase scene, or a movie from one chase scene to another, but for pure adrenaline sakes, this movie was just off the charts. For those who don’t know, Bourne Ultimatum is the last (maybe) movie for the Bourne series. The first was one was good will hunting, where we learn how Jason Bourne became an adult, then he became a spy and killed Robin Williams, Ben Affleck (twice) and Minnie Driver in the prequel to the Bourne Series (to be released still). Anyway, in this movie, Bourne is mad and trying to figure out how it all went wrong. Somehow this leads him to places like London, Madrid, Tangiers and New York City.

But really, who cares about the plot. This is the summer baby! its all about mindless action and this movie definitely delivers. There are some chase/fight scenes in this movie that will definitely impress and its non stop action for pretty much two hours. I think it is probably the best action movie of the summer. My only complain would be the over-usage of quick zooms and cuts, but that is pretty much every action movie now days.

5/5

Movie Review: Transformers

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Toronto – Let’s face it, I am not a big Michael Bay fan. I’ll admit the Rock was pretty good, but besides that, most of the stuff he has done has been shit. The Island? shit. Bad Boys II? shit. Pearl Harbor? super shit. So when they announced that Transformers was going to be directed by him, I vomited in my mouth. Well, maybe I didn’t, but if I was someone who cared a lot about transformers, I would have. Just like when they announced Brett Ratner was going to direct X-Men 3 after Bryan Singer left the project.

With that being said, expectations were not that high for this movie. I will be the first to admit, the trailers looked good and the special effects looked great so I can’t say I wasn’t at least a little bit excited about it. I mean everyone gets on these nostalgic kicks once in a while. I was fortunate enough to see this Monday night (unfortunate enough to have to travel to Richmond Hill to view it..although I had a ride). Anyways, Richmond Hill is crazy..everyone drives cars! I saw like three cars worthy of Fast n Furious in the parking lot on my walk to the theatre. Crazy, I tell you.

This movie..rocks. It is what it is. It is a big, loud, stupid, summer popcorn movie. Put your brain at the door and just go in and enjoy the movie. It has fantastic action sequences, peppered between scenes that have some tongue in cheek humor and some incredibly cheesy moments. What of the acting you say? nothing special. The kid Shia is a capable lead.. megan fox has a ridiculously hot body, and she doesnt do much other then look pretty and pose in the movie. John Tuturro plays an over the top agent and there are other comic foils. The stars of this movie is the special effect and man, the robots are freakin cool. Expect blatantly obvious product placement, as all the auto bots turn into pontiac/gmc cars.

But whatever, everyone going to this movie is going to see what transformers are included, and how they look. If you are looking for anything more, you will be disappointed. If you are looking for a fun time and some nostalgic kicks, then Transformers will be a good movie for you.

4/5

Movie Review: Shrek 3

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Toronto – It was alrite.

3/5

Movie Review: Spiderman 3

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Toronto – So me and coworkers go drinking on Friday afternoon after work, and it gets paid for by the company. This particular Friday, my boss decided we need to do shots of Prairie Fires, since he’s never had it before. I was thinking, what is this..first year university? Always a team player, I begrudgingly complied with this task. I figure, what could 1 shot of tequila really do..and to true form, it did not have much effect.

However, my boss, ever the enthusiast, decided to make a beeline to the bartender before we were able to tell him that was enough, and what do you know..there was shot #2. I was like, well thats cool, however, my coworker in operations decided that he wasn’t manly enough to do another shot, claiming he might puke. Always willing to prove that our development team was willing to step up, I told him I would do another if he did that one.

Anyways, I am just setting up the pretext for my viewing of Spiderman 3. I forgot to mention that our free drinks usually end at 6 o clock, as that is when the HR guy gets the bill. So usually, us cheap asses order as many pints as we can in about a 90 minute span, in this weeks case, it was four pints and about three shots. Needless to say, I was in a good mood when I went to see Spiderman.

TOO MANY VILLAINS! Sandman was completely useless. What was he really? This movie had three villains, and aside from Harry, neither Venom or Sandman was really established. Why not just do an entire movie on Venom..he’s the best villain anyway. Either way, this movie seemed to be too cluttered, story wise. Too much stuff going on, but not enough stuff going on..if you get my drift.

As my friend pointed out, Kirsten Dunst appears to get kidnapped every movie. You would think she would be more careful, learn kung fu or carry a gun or something. At least carry mace or a taser. Peter Parker trying to be a bad ass was pretty funny though, because we all know..when you have bangs, you are a bad ass. Totally reminded me of AZN heatbags back in Edmonton, all he was missing was frosted tips. Some of the plot was pretty dumb, why is Peter still friends with Harry? If one of my buddies constantly tried to kill me, I wouldn’t be their friend. Why does Peter Parker insist on living in a shithole? I mean, that is keepin it too real. Frick, you spiderman, go get yourself a nice pad, if you need money, travel to another city and rob a few banks with some other moniker, like Mr. Arachnid or something. They won’t know.

The special effects were cool as usual, but I came away from the movie pretty disappointed. My coworker txt me after the show to let me know they were STILL at it, and the entire night was on the house. Sigh.