If I had Gone: A Fictional #NXNE Portlands Review – Dan Mangan, Born Ruffians, Father John Misty


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With all this hoopla around the OJ Simpson documentary, the Kim Kardashian GQ cover and NXNE going around, it only seemed to make sense to write an article in honor of the situation and make our blog seem all up and modern with pop culture. Due to various commmitments, I was unable to go to NXNE Portlands today but here’s my review IF I HAD GONE

Getting There
Saturday was a wonderful day. Sunny, hot and nary a cloud in site, it was an idealistic day to hit up a music festival. Portlands seem a bit difficult to get to, but good ole NXNE has found a boat shuttle to the venue, and it’s sponsored by..WHAT??? All the parents surrounding me going to this festival are really confused now. They’ll be hungry later.

The Grounds
I just noticed there’s a band called Highs and Dan Mangan is playing at 4:20. How convenient. Saturday was a freaking hot day, and I’m glad I bought my water bottle – wait what? There’s no water stations? It’s 30 degrees outside!

Dan Mangan
It’s now 4:20 and Dan Mangan has taken the stage wearing a Got Bud shirt looking rather dishevelled. The grounds look empty and the boat shuttle that my friends were on have not arrived as per scheduled. Having released a surprise EP last night called “Unmake”, Mangan pulls off the classic Wilco at Pitchfork 2015 strategy by playing his new EP in it’s entirety before breaking into the hits. The new material is more stripped down and acoustic compared to his previous works, showing a fragility to his brand that was previously lacking, according to his publicist. Personal highlight for me was the new track Forgetery, a track featuring Tegan Quin who sang along side Dan via Snapchat, which was projected onto a big screen.

The Zolas
I spent most of their set exploring the grounds of the Portlands, trying some magnificent micro-brew company called Budweiser, which wasn’t a part of the Got Bud? Sponsorship. My friends called me and said their boat captain is missing and they are currently stuck in the middle of Lake Ontario.

From what I heard, the Zolas sounded pretty good, that might also have just been the radio, because I was at T&T munching on dim sum. I hope this pass allows re-entry.

Mother Mother
I felt bad for Mother Mother, the brother-sister band from Vancouver played a fun set of their brand of Canadian indie guitar rock but people were passing out left and right because it was about 35 degrees on the ground and everyone was too cheap to spend 4 dollars on a bottle of water. Some hipster kid tried to drink the water from lake ontario but then he immediately grew a third arm which went rogue and choked himself to death.

The band cut their setlist short, and seemed to be in a rush. I just realized they were playing some music festival called Sound of Music in Burlington later in the evening. Soul Asylum played that festival on Thursday, are you saying we could of had Soul Asylum here at the Portlands today?! Opportunity missed! Also playing that festival: I Mother Earth, Headstones, Sass Jordan and the Killjoys. There’s some nineties joke you can make there.

Born Ruffians
I was vaguely disappointed by the Born Ruffians set, I was expecting an hour of good ole Born Ruffian tunes such as Hummingbird and Foxes Mate For Life, instead I got an hour of Luke Lalonde trying to sell us on his brewery collaboration with the Muskoka Brewery and how it pairs wonderfully with cornish hen and white asparagus with a dab of honey mustard sauce. The samples were great though, as I was thoroughly sick of Budweiser at this point.

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Father John Misty
The headliner for tonight, it was a great chance for me to see him live again for like the seventh time in twelve months. I’m sure he won’t do his whole gospel preaching singer prancing about on stage and teasing the crowd thing again.

I guess I was wrong. Still, the man has stage presence and charisma that just spells out headliner. For more information about his show, read our review here from the April show. The girls in the crowd were swooning, although it seems like half the crowd was desperately trying to call an uber for the inevitable mess that will happen when the thousand or so people at this show all try to leave the Portlands at the same time.

Luckily, I was able to get away, because I wasn’t really there.

Or was I?

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Posted on by Ricky in North By Northeast

About Ricky

Britpop lovin Chinaman, consumer of all things irrelevant. Toronto Raptors fan.

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