Toronto - Lunchtime conversations are always a great source for blog related crap, so since the topic de jour this week was Iron Man, we came up with a bunch of video games that would make good video games - Splinter Cell, Castlevania, Metroid ..Mario Kart (my suggestion). But that stuff is boring. However, not many songs are made to movies so without hesitation here is the first one - obviously, one of my favorite songs of all time.

Common People
This 1995 hit by Pulp can practically write itself (look at the lyrics). However, lets hollywoodize it.

Plot: A coming of age rom-com/police drama. Veronica (Blake Lively) is a posh party girl living on her daddy’s (Robert De Niro) allowance. She drives some expensive car, eats expensive food and treats non wealthy people with disdain. This all changes. After another embarrassing incident involving cocaine, strippers (who get naked) and a unicorn at some prestigious social gathering, her parents decide to cut off her bank account and force her to graduate college in order to regain her bank funds.

Off to St. Martins college Veronica goes, to grab a degree in something easy - Arts. Readjusting to common people life is tough, but she is aided by her quirky minority friend, who is always helpful and comes from some poor family (fat chick from ugly betty). She finds that she likes some quiet art student named Sven (Topher Grace) who has immense artsy talent. Despite all her best flirtatious efforts, she is unable to get his attention. He confesses they can never be together because she is rich and can never relate to the common people. However, Unbeknown to Veronica, Sven in actuality is an undercover cop assigned to Veronica in order to reach her father, who is a crime overlord in charge of smuggling Eastern European strippers illegally into the country.

A determined Veronica goes thru a montage where she somehow goes thru some major character development, probably to some Pulp song - maybe “Something Changed”. I am unsure. Meanwhile Sven is conflicted by his increasing feelings for Veronica and his loyalty to his job, as he is being pressured by the Chief (Samuel L Jackson) to get the arrest. Anyways, fast forward to the graduation ball or some sort of dance, and Sven finally confesses his love for Veronica while dancing to the song “Common People” and all things are happy.

Then they leave the party and Veronica gets mistakenly shot down by Veronica’s dad’s henchmen - who were really after Sven. An angered Sven methodically (and with a lot of weapons), mows down all the gangsters (chow yun fat style) while making it to Veronica’s dads house. When he finally disposes of all the henchman, he encounters a saddened father, ready to die after realizing he just accidentally killed only daughter. Seeing that the damage has been done and understanding that both have lost someone important to them, Sven and Veronica’s father make peace and Sven is offered the job of being the #2 guy in the mafia which he happily takes since he’s probably going to get fired as a cop for killing 25 gangsters anyway.

The movie ends with Sven calling Samuel L Jackson on the phone and saying the exact same thing that Keanu Reeves said to the Matrix at the end of the first movie. Then he drives away in a black lamborghini to the same song that Keanu Reeves flew away to.

Boom. 100 million dollars right there.

Got something similar? leave a comment.

 

 Pulp - Common People: Play Now

Toronto - May. Its a special time of month. For university students, its the first month of vacation and crappy summer job. Its also the start of cottage season and for Australians, its the start of Winter or something. However, one thing trumps all. The beginning of May is also the beginning of blockbuster season, and all the big budget movies come out. The blockbuster season officially started with the Jon Favreau helmed Iron Man (or as chem nerds like to call him - Fe Male .. haha lame.).

This movie is awesome. After the massive disappointments of last year - X Men 3 and Spiderman 3, super hero movies get back on track with this film. It has everything you want in a blockbuster movie, action, one liners, more action, explosions, explosions. The difference between Iron Man and the failures of last year is that this film was well paced and actually developed the characters before unleashing the shizzle onscreen.

The acting is great, Robert Downey Jr is awesome as Tony Starks and Gwyneth Paltrow (welcome back), T-How and Jeff Bridges provide solid support. Gwyneth Paltrow was particularly good as the long suffering Pepper Potts. I think Batman and Ironman proves that if you have quality actors in an action movie, it works quite well (lookin at you George Lucas).

4.5/5

 

 The Cardigans - Iron Man: Play Now

props to Mark for knowing about this tune.

Toronto - So last thursday, I watched my last Hot Docs documentary. Of course, this documentary was in conjunction with Wade’s $4 Haircut, so I had no choice but to watch it - not that I didn’t want to, I’m always up for a documentary. Short and Male is a film by Howard Goldberg (no relation to THE Goldberg I don’t think … SPEAR! SPEAR!). According to the powers that be, this film is basically an “investigation into the relationship between male height, self-esteem and success. With humour and bite, 5′3″ Howard Goldberg tackles the tall issue of heightism.”

I have to say, this movie, didn’t really do it for me. I think the documentary was suppose to open peoples eyes about the struggles that the shorties have in life, but in reality, the film turned out to be a huge pity party for these short guys. The film compared the lil one’s struggles to that of the blacks and the women. FO SHIZZLE???? Seriously, as much as I’d like to believe that it is that grand, i don’t see us sending a bunch of midgets out to pick some cotton. I think the cotton plants are too high anyways and we’d have to equip these people with lil ladders too. It’d be pretty cute I guess.

I had a hard time relating to many of the characters in the documentary, among them - twin dentists in Montreal, some dude in New York, some lawyer with a Porsche in LA, some brown kid in somewhere and parents who were worried about their kid being short. I guess you don’t really need to relate to them, but most documentaries are suppose to make you care about their plight, but I didn’t really care, I don’t think that many of the people in the film were likable for some reason. Maybe because they spent the entire time they were on screen complaining, and not reflecting. It’s good to point out the good and the bad too. Like I know you don’t like being short, but at least point out some good things about being short ..like being able to duck under turnstiles at subway stations or something. Just anything positive would be nice, as I really do not believe that some dentists and lawyers are having shitty lives because they don’t meet the height requirements at a carnival roller coaster ride. The only story I found fascinating was the brown kid who had his limbs extended because man, thats a lot of pain and I only thought that kind of surgery happens in Gattaca.

I guess some positive things about this document was at times, it was informative, it was made with high production values, it did tackle the issue internationally, and it featured a lot of chinks. I’m always down with any film that has a lot Asians in it, even if its saying we are really short people. Collectively, Chinese people are the tallest people on earth. By collectively, I mean, if you take all the Chinese people on earth and stack them up on each other we’d definitely be taller then any other race.

Anyways, I think my friend summed it up best when he said something like ‘When you are watching documentaries, you are suppose to find out what the point is. This documentary tells you what the point of it is and it tells you over and over and over again.”

Rating: 5 Ft 3 Inches out of whatever.

I guess this is why documentaries are fascinating - it makes you think about what you have just seen. While I was not a fan of this film, maybe you will be … go check it out yourself. I don’t like leaving notes on a sour note so heres a song to lighten the mood.

 

 Captain Soul - T-Shirt 69: Play Now

By the way, Hot Docs this year was just awesome. It was extremely well organized and everyone seemed genuinely enthused about what they were doing. Big thumbs up to Hot Docs and I look forward to it next year.

Toronto - Ever the social observationalist, I present you with the Coffee Shop Corollary - which states: The quality of the neighborhood you live in is directly related to the coffee shop that surrounds your area.

Coffee Time - If you have a coffee time near your house, its time to move. You probably live in the ghettos, or you border ghetto or low income housing. There’s probably 3 barber shops and 2 pawn shops near by. There’s people who just hang out on the streets for no apparant reason. You might think your neighborhood has character because of this, but no - it doesn’t.

Tim Hortons - If you have a Tim Hortons near your house - its a step up. However, look around you - are you living in the suburbs? Probably. Your neighborhood probably needs cars to get around, since everyone loves to go thru the drive thru at Timmy Ho’s. Theres probably a bunch of white teenagers dressed as black ballers hanging around the parking lot too.

Second Cup - You are definitely moving on up. Your neighborhood has probably gotten respect from the corporations and you probably have a few franchised restaurants nearby. Streets are probably a little cleaner, the neighborhood is probably younger and theres some students hanging out at the store with their lil mac books half posturing, half studying. Its a pretty decent neighborhood. You are enjoying yourself.

Starbucks - Your neighborhood is definitely cool now. The bigwig has stepped in. They hired some good looking unbelievably cheery baristas too. Macbooks all around. Artsy people with dark rim glasses hang out talking about the latest obscure film from Germany. People from other neighborhood are checking out your neighborhood and they are all like ‘I could totally live here!’ Deep down you are starting to get annoyed that theres so many people in your hood on the weekend, but you really appreciate the lil hip fusion restaurant that just opened down the street.

2 Starbucks - Time to move.

Independent coffee shop - The neighborhood most people probably strive for. They charge more then all the other coffee shops listed, but its ‘independant’ so its justified. The coffee might even be fair trade, to help out all those third world countries (”have you heard about the tragedy in ____” is a pickup line at these places). Random locals hang out here, the baristas are cute and sometimes seem a lil too cool for you, but then you take a step back and be all like ‘man they are working in a coffee store’ and you feel good again.

I don’t really know why I made this post, but here’s a GREAT song with coffee in it and maybe the best music video ever..

 

 Blur - Coffee and TV: Play Now

Two movies from Vancouver. Lets start with White Vans

I love short films. White Vans is everything that a short film or short documentary should be. It was fun, to the point, had a beginning, middle, end and left you wanting to watch it again.

This is a story of Aren Hansen who had his bike stolen. He is so angry that he decides to set up a sting operation using a planted bike in a high bike theft area of Vancouver. He catches his bike thief on camera and in the act, but then something weird happens. These bike thieves who you hate for the entire film suddenly get compassion from you. As you watch this guy try and steal Arens’ bike, you end up wanting him to get away with it. This movie ultimately ends up being about compassion and trying to make the world a better place by doing what is right. Not bad for a 13 minute short.

Bad Boogie Balling from the Pink Mountain Tops was a nice surprise too.

Carts of Darkness

This movie was billed as being about homeless guys who race shopping carts down hills in Vancouver. But really, it has nothing to do with shopping carts and/or hills.

The movie starts out all about the extreme sport of cart racing and the homeless bottle collectors that do it. Then the movie shifts to focus on the lives and struggles that these men face and the choices they have made in their lives. The director, Murray Siple, told us during the Q&A that he made this movie with the National Film Board. During the process the NFB told him that he had to make the movie WITH his homeless bottle collecting cast, rather than ABOUT them. He did exactly this and it worked.

This movie is about Murray and how he connects to his homeless cast. In the final shot of the movie, it all comes together when Murray is able to give something back to his film friends who have given so much of themselves during the filming process. It is an inspiring moive that everybody can find something that connects to the struggles in their own lives.

Also some great Ladyhawk and Black Mountain in the soundtrack.

5/5

If you are keeping track, that is a grand total of 10/10 for these two Vancouver flicks. A solid program to see. The next showing is happening Thursday, April 24th at 12:00 PM at the Isabel Bader

 

 The Pink Mountaintops - Bad Boogie Ballin': Play Now

Toronto - As most people know, hockey is more or less religion in Canada. You might not see it in such an ethnically diverse urban metropolis such as Toronto, but travel to any small town anywhere else in Canada and you will see that people there live and breath hockey. Most of these little towns primarily follow their junior teams as NHL teams are for the big boys. These junior teams are the heart and soul of the cities - which leads to the documentary I saw on Sunday - Junior.

Junior chronicles a year in the life of a junior hockey team - Baie-Comeau Drakkar of the QMJHL, one of the major factories in creating NHL players. The documentary chronicles most of the things you would want to know about life as a junior hockey - the pressure, the business side of things, the scouts, the wear and tear - pretty much everything of interest happens during the course of the year. The documentary focuses on a few players - the superstar on the team, the new hot shot, the bully and a homesick kid. As cliche as some of these are, you know they exist within the fabrics of most sport teams and it makes for a compelling look at the industry.

The film never shows any hockey clips, and primarily relies on events and peoples reactions to gather emotional momentum. Being a hockey fan, I found this documentary quite intriguing and it provided the public with inside access to all the factors that plague a hockey team and if you are a sports fan, its well worth the effort to go and see it.

4.5/5

Junior plays today at 4:30 at Innis Town Hall, wherever that is.

I hate to end articles on a down note, so here is a song. Call it an ode to these junior players, as they have to grow up quickly and stuff. Or something.:

 

 Youth Group - Forever Young: Play Now