Toronto - As mentioned in my primer, the Wet Secrets are a 5 piece band from my hometown of Edmonton, Alberta, the city of champions (til I left, anyway). The band consists of Lyle Bell (bass, vocals), Trevor Anderson (drums, vocals), Kim Rackel (tuba, trumpet, vocals), Donna Ball (trombone, vocals), and Doug Organ (keys, vocals). They were the first band on my NXNE menu, and man what an appetizer.

First of all, they all wore matching marching band outfits. Now, consulting the Panic Manual Rock Dictionary*, if you wear a uniform as a band, you better bring it. Uniforms = expectations. The Wet Secrets definitely brought their A game (or EHHHH game). Their music can best be described as retro sounding synth rock with reliance on gang vocals for choruses. With catchy song titles like ‘Grow Your Own Fucking Mustache, Asshole’ and ‘I Teabagged Myself With 3 Cans of Pain’, you can easily tell these guys are here for a good time.

The set was the expected 40 minutes and while they sometimes rely on the group chant choruses a bit much, everyone had a good time and this band definitely deserves the hype that has besieged them in recent weeks. It’s always a good sight to have girls on stage dancing in unison. I guess they are similar the Canadian version of ‘Black Kids’. only ‘White Kids’ but they can’t call themselves that, cos it’d be racist.

4/5

Also related is the ill fated Panic Manual beard/off competition, which I failed miserably, but I’m Asian, so that was expected

 

 The Wet Secrets - Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole: Play Now

Toronto - North By North East. It’s here. Yup. Are you ready? Here are some suggestions for Thursday night, when it all begins. Aside from tonight, when Lightspeed Champion plays at Lees Palace ( you should go)

The Wet Secrets, The Horseshoe
Holy jesus. An Edmonton band. DO I know them? I don’t know. Probably not. These guys are feature members of last years Edmonton band du jour - Shout Out Out Out, so expect some good garage rock you can move your head to.

Small Sins, The Horseshoe, 11 PM.
A Toronto band, Small Sins is fronted by Thomas D’Arcy. A chamber pop affair with focus on melodies. Small Sins will also be playing Yonge and Dundas Square Saturday at 15:00.

Modernboys Moderngirls, The Boat, Midnight
A Toronto band, they have a lead singer named Akira, and cite Kings of Leon and Captain Beefheart as influences. The album is produced by Toronto Band Du Jour - Born Ruffians and they excel at that 60s/70s brand of classic countryish rock.

These New Puritans, Reverb, 1 AM
Uk’s new hip eclectic electro band, you might have heard of their song ‘Elvis’, or some others. These guys remind me of Test Icicles, in that they are a love it or hate it band. Playing at CLUB NME night. OMG!

Chinese Food, Rancho Relaxo, 11 PM
I don’t really know what they sound like, but man, they are called Chinese food and that is just hard to ignore. I guess they sound like Talking Heads. The real question is - why are they playing at a Mexican restaurant? Traitors. Go play at Rol San or Gold Stone Noodle House. Thats keeping it real yo.

Two Hours Traffic - Rivoli, 12 AM
You can read about my Two Hours Traffic experience here. Guaranteed good Maritimes..times.

Major Maker - El Mo Downstairs, 1 AM
Surely by now you have heard of their song in the candy commercial.

Sloan - Mod Club, 9 Pm
If you don’t have tickets by now, you ain’t getting in.