So Celeste and I conveniently switched cities (still a sore subject – let’s not talk about it) and we’ve had to make new friends. Making new friends when you’re in kindergarden is fun. Making friends in your 20s and 30s? It’s terrible. So, we’ve put together a handy-dandy list of the best ways to make new friends in a new city for all y’all who are contemplating a city switch or just wanna ditch your homies. If you think of any others we’re missing, please let us know. We’re still struggling:
1) Loudly Announce your Costco Membership Everywhere You Go.
At a certain age, the allure of a trip to Costco starts to outweigh the allure of free shows and club entrances. We are at that age. Nothing can perk up interest in a bar/Metro car/sidewalk faster than a casual (but very loud and well articulated) mention of your Costco membership and ability/willingness to bring guests. Industrial-size goodies for everyone!
2) Offer Candy to Strangers.
Gum. Werthers. Lifesavers. Homemade cookies. Keep these in your (man)purse, pockets, and/or briefcase and offer them indiscriminately, early and often. Although we’ve all been taught as children not to take candy from strangers, apparently that rule becomes moot when you’re a bored millennial looking for a snack. You’ll find yourself surrounded by friends … or at least people looking for a way to freshen their breath.
3) Pull out a Flip Phone.
Whether it’s working or not, people LOVE to see a good ol’ flip phone. Offer to let them give it a flip, throw it on the ground, or pretend it’s a walkie-talkie. All amazing party tricks – and for $3 on ebay. A steal.
4) Be Nice.
All right, here comes our moralizing. As some of you may know, the world has had a rough year (or 5). It would be nice … if people could just be nice. So next time you find yourself wanting to hit an idiot over the head – don’t. Be nice.
That’s it. Happy 2018!