Yesterday might have been the Emmy’s but that award’s importance to the world dwarfs in comparison to what is going to happen tonight.
Tonight, my friends, is the Polaris Music Prize, by far the most prestigious award rewarded in the world of music in Canada.
Why is it more prestigious? for one, the Canadian music industry is damn poor so you know for a fact that this award cannot be bought.
Anyways, the question on everyone’s minds – who will win?
Let’s take a look at the nominees:
Welcome to the Party
Kaytranada – 99.9% – Doesn’t like to give press interviews. GUEST WHO IS VOTING FOR THIS PRIZE? People who make money off interviews.
Jessy Lanza – Oh No – Jessy built up a huge following this year, but will somehow get lumped into a conversation with Grimes, which she will most likely lose.
Andy Shauf – The Party – Find me the last time someone named Andy won anything.
U.S. Girls – Half Free – Duo citizenship is bound to confuse some people.
Sorry, maybe next time
Black Mountain – IV – Haha, as if any east coast jurors will give any more reasons for people from the west coast to brag. Will anyone from Vancouver win? doubt it.
Basia Bulat – Good Advice – I feel like Basia is the Susan Lucci or Jon Hamm of Polaris. She will win some day, but not this time. Maybe in a few years.
Dark Horses
PUP – The Dream Is Over
White Lung – Paradise
Heavy rockers both put out impressive albums this year and it’s been awhile since rock albums have entered the Polaris conversation. Still someone is bound to point out that Pup used to be called Topanga! after which everyone will laugh and move on. White Lung can’t win because of my theory that west coast bands will not win because everyone on the east coast hates Vancouver because of their temperate climate, escalating housing prices and obsession with all things outdoors.
The Heavyweights
Grimes – Art Angels
Carly Rae Jepsen – E•MO•TION
These two ladies are the two I would put my money on. Both artists put out fantastic records that was near the top of everyone’s 2015 lists. Grimes has the added edge in that she meshes elements of multiple genres into her album and brings forth a unique sound. Carly is just pop perfection. How many weirdos are in the grand jury? We’ll find out.
Winner: Grimes (but flip a coin)