At first I thought I might tackle a Top 100 of the 00′s list, but I realised a few crucial things about 5 minutes into compiling my list:
- My memory is hazy at best
- What can I say that Pitchfork hasn’t already said?
Instead, I’m compiling the most sexeriffic songs of of the 00′s.
Sebastien Tellier – Roche, 2008
Those stink lines you see coming off Sebastien Tellier isn’t……..OK. It probably is a mix of day-old Chardonnay and expired, unpasteurized cheese. But it’s also ripe sex appeal. There’s nothing subdued about Roche’s sexerifficness. It’s basically a French-Orgy of summer and smoke.
Dandy Warhols – Wonderful You, 2003
I completely forgot about this tune. I had actually completely forgotten about the Dandy Warhols + Welcome to the Monkey House, period…in the same way that I had forgotten about the Folk Implosion back in the 90′s. Wonderful You is the 21st century Natural One. It’s slick, surprisingly seductive, and the perfect soundtrack for creepily checking someone out.
Arctic Monkeys – I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor, 2006
Whoa man! Juggernaut of a song that has a raw, barely-contained energy to it. Very grope-in-the-pit type feel. Aggressive and illegal feeling without being inappropriate. It helps that vocalist Alex Turner has that raspy smoker’s voice–the epitome of vocal sultriness, and that the entire Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not album is stellar.
Madonna – Hung Up, 2005
Who knew an ABBA sample could be this sexy? It’s well known that the PM loves to bust this one out in desperation to fill an empty dancefloor, but why does it get everyone to shake their ass? The answer is simple. It’s dripping with an eerie magnetism that is so pervasive, it makes you forget this terrible video featuring Madonna doing the spread eagle in a leotard. I’m sure one of the samples contains the sound of her hips creaking, but none of that matters. Bootylicious.
Snoop Dogg with Robyn – Sexual Eruption, 2008
I know I’m going to catch some flack for this one, but Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don’t Care! Even with that horrible “robot voice” effect, I have a soft spot for Sexual Eruption and Snoop in general. Sure, the word “sexual” appears a whopping 14 times, but it’s got that tongue-in-cheek thing I can’t resist.
Jay-Z with Pharrell – Excuse Me Miss, 2002
I fully admit I am a little in love with non-threatening baby-faced lover-boy Pharrell. Dude is simply adorably dapper. Excuse Me Miss is his show with his “Sexcuse me”s and “DAYUM!”s. Jay-Z can have his grown-up sexy–just give me Pharrell.
Outkast – I’ll Call Before I Come, 2000
The 00′s was a mind-staggeringly busy decade for Outkast, producing two of the best hip hop albums in recent memory with Stankonia and Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. I’ll Call Before I Come may seem like an out of place pick but It’d be negligent to exclude them from any “best of 00′s” list. Besides, it’s a great song with a funky hook that works with a cheeky double-entendre.
Nelly Furtado with Timbaland – Promiscuous, 2006
Loose rates high on the sexeriffic album scale and Promiscuous is my most over-listened to song of the 00′s. What’s not to love about this? It’s fun, flirty, and has got some tight back and forth between Nelly and T.
Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Tenure Itch, 2008
This was my favorite track off the POBPAH debut, just nudging out A Teenager in Love (which is basically an upbeat cover of David Bowie’s Modern Love). The entire album is laced with sweetly innocent suggestivisms reminiscent of sweaty high school locker halls. You can practically smell the tinge of B.O. and Love’s Baby Soft in this one.
Vampire Weekend – Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa, 2008
Another sweetly suggestive tune. Very prep-school co-ed with enough raunchiness to drop an F-bomb. Need I say more?
Interpol – Public Pervert, 2004
Perhaps one of the less directly overt entries, Interpol classes up this tasteless list with some sophisticated poetry. Also, Paul Banks and Carlos Dengler used to be pretty flippin’ hot.
Also, just for the record..Best song of the 00′s: Outkast – Hey Ya!, 2003
