Toronto - What would 3 hitmen do in Bruges, Belgium? Why, they hit - on each other; literally. There’s a lot of (Roman) manly love going on in this fine drama. You get to see the sympathetic sides of each and every tough street personalities. Granted, I think the heroics near the end were a little bit unrealistic, but dammit we need some love in this world and I don’t protest soft spots.

You start out with 2 mob muscles running away after a hit had gone wrong. Of all places, they went to Flemish Bruges. At many early points the film is part BBC, part drama, and 99% Tourism-Bruges sponsored. It IS a UNESCO World Heritage Site, after all. Beneath all the churches, beautiful canals, the famous Belfry, our pair of lackluster goons are swimming in their own guilt. The younger one, Ray, was fresh off a screwed-up first assignment - he killed a 5 yrs-old kid by accident. The older guy, Ken, obviously repentant at every turn, broods right along with probably a hundred heads under his belt. Despite being a serious movie, it somehow managed not to be drab. Maybe the accent helped a lot? Certainly the way their jobs were described so casually added to the lighter mood. Dead targets are respectfully discussed over beers and jeers. No grudges are held long but debts are always remembered. These are classy and professional men who simply ended up on the flip-side of the 6-figure professional scale. They held themselves to honor and principles (that you and I might agree to, mostly). At the end of the day they go home, care and provide for their families/kids, and really have very little on their conscience unless something goes wrong. The 3rd guy, Harry, even involves his wife and was fairly transparent about his occupation. This screenplay direction is a good choice, because it makes the firefights and shootouts gentlemanly and comedic. At one point Colin Farrell’s Ray sets the rules of the game during a shootout, and Harry actually follows to a tee, in order to not involve a innocent woman caught in between. I actually find this British chivalry kind of endearing - it’s all a game, but if you can’t observe the niceties, don’t play.

I won’t bother with the details of who killed who - mostly everyone was philosophically content, if a little unhappy, at the end. Well, maybe not the Canadian image. There was one incident where a Canuck was being an unnecessary nuisance over a puff of smoke. I just can’t imagine that being true, though. And what was it with Raymond’s obsession over Vietnamese loyalty? With all that, an American racist dwarf, clergyman and children being gunned down, is there some hidden immigration protest going on? Who knows…  but this is a good one to sit down to with your kids (if you’ve got any who doesn’t mind the realistic gore) - just make sure they don’t stand in front or behind you - there are apparently consequences to being short and co-linear with bullets in Bruges. PS. Eirik was an ass.