Toronto - I thought the movie was as weak as this playmobil set made Hellboy look…

Just kidding. The Golden Army turned out to be quite fun. The opening story background with John Hurt as Professor Broom added warmth immediately - reminding us that Hellboy isn’t just some captured animal in a steroid-abuse K9 unit - he has a heart and his is a sad life punctuated by frequent superhuman bouts. And the action is what you were looking for when you paid your admission. In that department this film certainly does not disappoint. All you have to do is to watch the Forest God battle and you’ll be hooked to the sweet animation and graphics. Even when the story is resting at development stages, whether in NYC’s sewers where the elves hide (Galadriel would be pissed…), or back at the paranormal research headquarters, there are tonnes of fist fights, gun battle, vaporous remote control, anonymous devilish creatures killing their human handlers, etc, etc. Comedy is mixed into the fights so HB doesn’t come across a blood-thirsty loose cannon. Messages that coincides with current political climate of saving the earth doesn’t really hurt, either.

I can keep describing the fight scenes where Prince Nuada slaughtered everything in his path with awesome ninjitsu skillz like what you had hoped Yoda would do every time you see him pull out that little green rod, but words can’t do justice. Oh and then the troll market… it’s like Diagon Alley on acid. All very fun and dandy that it almost felt inconsequential - that was the feeling I had - they had gone through the whole 9-yards to create this very organic and vivid setting only to have HB & Co. walk through it like a bad adventure game with non-interactive background where one would mouse-scan for points of interests. A bit of a waste if you ask me. The film did have good moments - like when Hellboy and Abe Sapien sang Can’t smile without you - just like normal guys would. Like I said before, Del Toro did a good job with this movie not only because of freaky character creations like those in Pan’s Labyrinth. It’s because he reminded the audience what Hellboy really is - a human incarnate. And that’s what set this movie above the others. I liked the film, as you can see, but I don’t know where to put it… it’s doesn’t have the simple charm of Pan’s Labyrinth, but it does outdo itself as a blockbuster action flick.

And I kept thinking Wink would be un-spike-roller-mushed after the credits…