Toronto - So last thursday, I watched my last Hot Docs documentary. Of course, this documentary was in conjunction with Wade’s $4 Haircut, so I had no choice but to watch it - not that I didn’t want to, I’m always up for a documentary. Short and Male is a film by Howard Goldberg (no relation to THE Goldberg I don’t think … SPEAR! SPEAR!). According to the powers that be, this film is basically an “investigation into the relationship between male height, self-esteem and success. With humour and bite, 5′3″ Howard Goldberg tackles the tall issue of heightism.”

I have to say, this movie, didn’t really do it for me. I think the documentary was suppose to open peoples eyes about the struggles that the shorties have in life, but in reality, the film turned out to be a huge pity party for these short guys. The film compared the lil one’s struggles to that of the blacks and the women. FO SHIZZLE???? Seriously, as much as I’d like to believe that it is that grand, i don’t see us sending a bunch of midgets out to pick some cotton. I think the cotton plants are too high anyways and we’d have to equip these people with lil ladders too. It’d be pretty cute I guess.

I had a hard time relating to many of the characters in the documentary, among them - twin dentists in Montreal, some dude in New York, some lawyer with a Porsche in LA, some brown kid in somewhere and parents who were worried about their kid being short. I guess you don’t really need to relate to them, but most documentaries are suppose to make you care about their plight, but I didn’t really care, I don’t think that many of the people in the film were likable for some reason. Maybe because they spent the entire time they were on screen complaining, and not reflecting. It’s good to point out the good and the bad too. Like I know you don’t like being short, but at least point out some good things about being short ..like being able to duck under turnstiles at subway stations or something. Just anything positive would be nice, as I really do not believe that some dentists and lawyers are having shitty lives because they don’t meet the height requirements at a carnival roller coaster ride. The only story I found fascinating was the brown kid who had his limbs extended because man, thats a lot of pain and I only thought that kind of surgery happens in Gattaca.

I guess some positive things about this document was at times, it was informative, it was made with high production values, it did tackle the issue internationally, and it featured a lot of chinks. I’m always down with any film that has a lot Asians in it, even if its saying we are really short people. Collectively, Chinese people are the tallest people on earth. By collectively, I mean, if you take all the Chinese people on earth and stack them up on each other we’d definitely be taller then any other race.

Anyways, I think my friend summed it up best when he said something like ‘When you are watching documentaries, you are suppose to find out what the point is. This documentary tells you what the point of it is and it tells you over and over and over again.”

Rating: 5 Ft 3 Inches out of whatever.

I guess this is why documentaries are fascinating - it makes you think about what you have just seen. While I was not a fan of this film, maybe you will be … go check it out yourself. I don’t like leaving notes on a sour note so heres a song to lighten the mood.

 

 Captain Soul - T-Shirt 69: Play Now

By the way, Hot Docs this year was just awesome. It was extremely well organized and everyone seemed genuinely enthused about what they were doing. Big thumbs up to Hot Docs and I look forward to it next year.